I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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