After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
