who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Im part way to drunk.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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