Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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