i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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