It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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