Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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