And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
