So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
