I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
