Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
