I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
