im drinking this country out of the recession.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize