At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Randomize
