She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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