No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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