get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
