I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
