It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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