ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
