I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
