why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
