i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
