I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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