Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize