So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize