im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
