So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
