Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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