Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
