Where is the hickey?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
