You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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