Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
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