FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
