Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
