This is not my ceiling
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
40s are totally the cure
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
