Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
