i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
