Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
