it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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