I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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