I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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