only if we run a train.
done.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
