I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
