I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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