Your mouth is God's brothel.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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