Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
