How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
NoShamevember. You game?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
