remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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