Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
