Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I'm really busy with my period
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