i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
