that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize