So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize