i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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