if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm sobbing to NWA
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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