did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
