If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
