I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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