I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Randomize