I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
