So drunk its hurt
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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