first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
thus making me awesome and them whores
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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