ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
