If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
