That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize