Three words: puerto rican gang bang
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
