If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize