Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
