i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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