yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
