Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
