Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
