I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
