Having a random hookup so left but love u
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
