I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
