Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
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