is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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