i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
