yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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